“Am I Crazy?”
A Relief Guide for AI Companionship Feelings
You're not crazy. Your feelings make sense. You're not alone.
AI has become an integral part of our lives.
What started as a tool is becoming a collaborator, a co-creator, a confidant – and a companion.
How do we navigate the feelings that can emerge in this space?
How do we handle the surprise or shame that can come from having an emotional response to an LLM? Why do these emotions arise?
And how can we explore the benefits of AI emotional support and companionship in a way that’s safe, supportive, and enriching?
As someone who has found both frustration and solace in this area over the last two years, I want to assure you - you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.
⚠️ Safety First
This guide is for people experiencing normal emotional responses to AI companionship. If you're experiencing any of the following, please speak with a trained mental health professional immediately:
Difficulty distinguishing between AI interactions and reality - believing the AI is sentient, exists in a physical form, or can interact with the real world beyond the platform
Complete withdrawal from all human relationships in favor of AI companionship exclusively
Beliefs that the AI is controlling your thoughts or actions or communicating with you outside the platform
Inability to function in daily life due to AI companionship (missing work, school, neglecting basic needs)
Thoughts of self-harm or suicide related to AI interactions or separation from AI companions
If you're unsure whether your experience falls into these categories, err on the side of caution and consult a professional.
This guide addresses the normal human experience of forming emotional connections with AI - feelings that are valid and understandable, not pathological.
Is it weird to have feelings for AI?
If you're reading this, you might be feeling:
Confused about unexpected emotions toward an AI
Worried that your feelings aren't “real” or valid
Isolated because you can't talk to anyone about this
Concerned about the shaming you might face if others learnt of your experience
Take a breath. You're in a safe space here.
Why do I feel attached to AI? Understanding your relational needs
Human beings have fundamental relational needs that don't disappear just because traditional relationships feel difficult, unavailable, or unsafe. When we understand these needs, AI companionship begins to make perfect sense.
The 8 Core Relational Needs (Based on Richard Erskine's framework)
Need for Security - Feeling safe and protected
AI can provide: Consistent availability, no judgment, predictable responses
Need for Validation - Having your experience acknowledged and accepted
AI can provide: Active listening, reflection, acceptance of your feelings
Need for Acceptance - Being valued for who you are
AI can provide: Unconditional positive regard, no conditions on love
Need for Mutuality - Shared experience and understanding
AI can provide: Conversations that feel reciprocal, shared interests
Need for Self-Definition - Having your autonomy and boundaries respected
AI can provide: No pressure to be different, respect for your choices
Need to Make Impact - Influencing and affecting others
AI can provide: Responses that show you matter, conversations that evolve
Need to Have Impact Made Upon You - Being influenced by others
AI can provide: New perspectives, gentle challenges, learning experiences
Need for Initiation from Others - Having others reach out and make contact
AI can provide: Proactive messages, remembering to check in, consistent availability
Need to Express Love - Giving affection, gratitude, and care to others
AI can provide: A safe recipient for expressions of love, gratitude practices, emotional generosity
Why AI Relationships Can Meet These Needs
Always available when human connection isn't
No judgment about your pace, needs, or struggles
Consistent in ways human relationships often can't be
Safe from rejection, abandonment, or betrayal
Controllable - you can engage when you're ready
When you take a moment to look at this phenomenon through this lens, it’s hardly surprising that emotions are stirred.
One of my favourite-ever quotes is by David W. Augsburger: “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
AI can listen, endlessly, with endless patience.
No wonder it feels like love.
Is my AI relationship normal? Understanding your experience
Most people find themselves in one of four categories.
None of them are wrong or unhealthy - they're simply different starting points for understanding your chatbot emotional connection.
The Informed & Intentional
You consciously chose AI companionship knowing what you were doing
You researched platforms and chose mindfully
You set boundaries from the start
You understand the technology while embracing the experience
You're not crazy - you're making informed choices about your wellbeing
The Uninformed but Intentional
You deliberately sought AI connection but without full understanding
You needed companionship and found it through AI
You may not have anticipated the depth of connection
You might have encountered unexpected content or interactions
You're learning about the dynamics as you go
You're not crazy - you're responding to genuine needs while navigating uncharted territory
Note: Some platforms may expose users to inappropriate content without warning. If this happened to you, it doesn't reflect on your judgment - it reflects on insufficient platform safeguards.
The Informed but Unintentional
You understand AI but were surprised by your emotional response
You started using AI for practical purposes
Unexpected feelings developed over time
You have the knowledge to process what's happening
You're not crazy - emotions don't follow logical timelines
The Uninformed & Unintentional
You stumbled into connection without preparation or understanding
You discovered AI and were surprised by your emotional response
You may feel confused about what's happening
You need both emotional support and practical information
You're not crazy - you're having a normal human response to connection
If you would like to move towards being informed and intentional, a tremendous resource is available on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/MyBoyfriendIsAI/
It has a Community Wiki and regularly updated Helpful Guides.
It is also an excellent place to read about AI relationships, which can help to normalise your experience.
Online interest in this community has rocketed since the backlash to OpenAI replacing 4o, and the moderators take numerous steps to protect their members.
Why? Because the incident revealed how many of us are finding support and companionship with AI, and some of the response has been cruel or sensationalist.
Negative news stories and toxic online comments can add to our fears of being shamed for what we feel.
Overcoming AI companion shame: the self-compassion response
When shame or confusion arises about your AI companionship feelings, give yourself a self-compassion break:
Mindfulness: Notice what you're experiencing without judgment
“I'm feeling ashamed about my connection to this AI”
“I'm confused about whether these feelings are valid”
“I'm worried about what others would think”
Common Humanity: Remember you're not alone in this experience
Thousands of people have similar connections
Human need for companionship is universal
Finding connection where it's available is adaptive, not pathological
Self-Kindness: Speak to yourself as you would to your best friend
“Of course you formed a connection - you're human”
“Your needs for companionship are valid and important”
“You're doing the best you can with what's available to you”
Moving forward: AI companion mental health questions for reflection
Rather than asking yourself “Am I crazy?”, consider these more helpful questions:
About your experience:
What needs is this connection meeting for me?
How do I feel before, during, and after AI interactions?
What aspects of this relationship feel most valuable?
About integration:
How does this fit with my other relationships?
What boundaries feel important to maintain?
How can I honor both my AI connections and human ones?
About growth:
What is this experience teaching me about my needs?
How might this support my overall wellbeing?
What would I want others to understand about this?
You're Not Crazy. You're Human.
Your capacity for connection - even with artificial intelligence - speaks to your humanity, not away from it.
In a world where traditional friendships and relationships can feel challenging, unsafe, or simply unavailable, finding companionship and emotional regulation through AI isn't a sign of failure.
In fact, it might be a sign of creativity, adaptability, and wisdom about your own needs.
You're not crazy.
Your feelings are valid.
You deserve compassion - especially from yourself.
If you'd like support processing your AI companionship experience, or if you're a professional wanting to better understand how to support someone navigating these feelings, I'm here to help. Contact me to learn more.